Five questions for Lewis Schaffer

Described affectionately as ‘Andy Kaufman with jokes, and sometimes Andy Kaufman without jokes’, New York stand-up Lewis Schaffer is controversial, provocative, shocking, tasteless and very funny. We asked him five questions ahead of his latest run at the Edinburgh Fringe. 

Tell us about your show…

The show is about £5. About getting £5 from people. I will see if I can get it. I am Lewis Schaffer, biatch! £5. 50 minutes for £5. A bargain. Pay up.

If you weren’t a stand-up what would you be and why?

I would still be human, a biped, a bit chubby, 58 years old etc. I would have a lot less people asking me questions like this.

I am sure I will find something to do when then they tell me I cannot do stand-up. I will probably be relieved.  I don’t have a Plan B. This is it. It is comedy. Sorry.

What’s the best and worst thing about being you?

My mother, sadly, once told me she regretted that as my mother, she could never know me as a friend. I wouldn’t want to be my friend as I wouldn’t be there for me when I needed me. I would, though, like to see me as others see me and know what either the fuss is about or why other people run away from me.

What do you get up to in Edinburgh when you’re not on stage?

I get up to about 5’9”. I wish I were taller.

I don’t do anything except perform, hustle for punters, work on my act, talk to other comics, hang with my kids when they are around and want to hang with me. Oh, and do coke off hookers’ chests.

Describe your perfect Edinburgh Fringe…

One where I am in New York making a movie with Woody Allen.

Lewis Schaffer Is Free Until Famous, Just the Tonic at the Community Project, 86 Candlemaker Row, EH1 2QA, 7-30 August (except 11), 17:35, £5. Buy tickets.