It’s a cracker: Miley Cyrus gag tops Christmas joke competition
A pun about Miley Cyrus has topped the list of new festive gags in a new competition to modernise the traditional Christmas cracker joke.
Comedy channel Gold challenged comedians and gag-smiths to write their own original festive gags and submit them via Twitter for a competition to revamp the Christmas cracker joke.
The competition was launched following a Gold poll which revealed that 72% of the nation believe that cracker jokes are outdated.
The top ten funniest new festive jokes are revealed as:
- What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas? Twerky. (23%)
- Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer. (20%)
- Mary and Joseph – now they had a stable relationship. (15%)
- What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast? The One Show. (14%)
- What did Santa do when he went speed dating? He pulled a cracker. (13%)
- Why don’t you ever see Santa in hospital? Because he has private elf care. (13%)
- How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger. (12%)
- Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Because their days are numbered. (11%)
- How do you know if Santa’s been in your garden shed? You’ve got three extra hoes. (10%)
- Why was the Brussels sprout sent to prison? Because it was a repeat offender. (9%)
Gags that just missed out were:
- Why did Harry Styles fail at being Santa? Because he can only use the chimney in One Direction. (9%)
- Why did Rudolph the reindeer have the complete works of Shakespeare on his top lip? Because his nose was well read. (8%)
- Why can’t you wash up during Christmas? Because the Fairy is on top of the tree. (7%)
Comedy critic Bruce Dessau, who headed up the Gold judging panel says: “Reading all the entries certainly showed me that Brits always have plenty of gags up their sleeve!
“Using Twitter not only helped keep the jokes short and sharp, but we also saw a number of pop culture icons included in the festive mix – truly updating the cracker jokes for families to enjoy as they tuck into their turkey this year.”
The author of the winning joke, Richard Woolford, received £5,000 in prize money and a box of Gold Crackers, one of which will contain his own joke.
Richard said: “I’m totally amazed and can’t believe it! I now hope Twerking becomes a new Christmas tradition – are you listening Nan?
“This has been a phenomenal year and a great welcome back into comedy for me after being away so long recovering from cancer.
“All I want to do is write comedy professionally, and hopefully this is another step closer to my dream.”
The Gold Christmas crackers featuring some of the top jokes from the competition can also now be purchased online from Pedlars.co.uk.
