The comedian’s shop window

Why are comedy press shots always so dull?

Great comedy dazzles. It up-ends expectations. It twists and turns, leaves us breathless. Huge leaps of imagination make rooms erupt with laughter, sides split, bellies laugh and guffs-haw.

So, with all this creativity and genius abounding – why can any of that not translate into the comedian’s shop window – the publicity photo?

Many publicity shots feature a comic with a microphone, or without a microphone, just a microphone or a badly taken selfie.

In my day someone holding a microphone was a pop star of great importance. Now any one can get hold of a mic and hold it in a funny or ironic way. You’d be better off standing there holding a big cock and/or a rubber chicken.

Then there are the same tired old poses: the slightly lost look, the hapless stance, the grinning idiot, the moron, the swagger, the knowing look, the surprise and the cum shot.

The backgrounds are even worse. Some shitty pub backdrop with a badly made banner draped across a chair or some wallpaper from your mum’s house. Shameful.

It’s not good enough. I’m a much in demand ladies’ man*. If my publicity photo featured me in my dirty pants looking a bit gormless, I’d get laughed out of the Casanova Club and wouldn’t be in one of several beds a day.

I employed a professional. I look good. I used my imagination. Come on comedians, pull your fingers out. Get imaginative.

*I’m not, I’m a liar.