Opinion: Please don’t steal my joke

A good friend of mine, and fellow comic, said that he read my blog and was concerned about my state of mind. This wasn’t helped by the fact that I wrote on Facebook that someone has stolen one of my jokes and the debate that followed. I’m fine. I’m working hard. I’m knackered, but I’m fine.

Joke theft is tricky. It’s quite an accusation to make. It’s certainly not a simple as calling someone out. They will deny it. They always do. Or they will say that they thought of the same joke at the same time, that it’s an obvious joke. That people often think up the same idea. Anything other than the truth, “I liked what you did and just stole it off you, word for word because I don’t respect you.”

I would have more respect for someone who did that and I’m trying to be reasonable about this. I had a text from a promoter who told me the act did the joke word for word at one of his gigs and this hurt me. The promoter said they will never the book the guy again. I didn’t ask him to do this, it was his decision. I’m hurt because the origin of the joke is actually very personal to me.

I ad-libbed the joke when I was at Reading University a couple of years ago. A woman looked so scared of me that it was all I could think to say and it still fits with what I sometimes do on stage. That night I walked out onto the stage and the whole crowd of about 300 stopped clapping before I even got the mic and this hurt my feelings.

Call me sensitive but when other comics walk to the stage the audience assume they are going to have a great time and I get nothing, I feel bad. I said hello and not one person replied. The joke has been significant because it gave me, along with a few other one liners, an opportunity to get myself into a gig and to be funny from the off. It’s a good way of acknowledging that I may look a certain way, but that actually I’m not some dopey psychotic yokel. I must add that I got a great response at the uni gig too.

I know that people steal jokes. It’s just a fact of the life.

I always cringe slightly when I see someone move the mic stand to one side and say “I’ll just move this one side so you can see me.” As far as I know, this is Jo Brand’s line from many years ago when she was playing the Tunnel Club. Jo Brand has my undying respect. I can’t imagine how hard that club must have been or what she had to go through to be the comic she eventually became. That line is hers and anyone who takes it should be ashamed of themselves. I don’t care if the audience laugh. You’re not Jo Brand, so don’t do it.

The same goes for “I’m also available for children’s parties.” It’s not yours. You didn’t think of that. You saw it, you liked and you stole it.

In truth, I won’t do anything about this. It will pass, people will forget I ever mentioned it. I will carry on doing the joke. The act who stole it will carry on doing it along with all the others he has taken and the world will continue. It’s my own fault for wanting to avoid confrontation I suppose. But as I say, I’m fine.

Matt Price blogs at mattpricecomedian.wordpress.com. Follow him on Twitter: @MattPriceComedy.