A Day In The Life Of…Peacock & Gamble

Peacock & Gamble

We wake up in the lighthouse at around 11am.  Yes, we live in a lighthouse.  We have done for three years now, and it is this unique situation that has really contributed to our special double act dynamic.  Our duties in the lighthouse are very defined, but both equal in importance.  Ray is in charge of the bulb at the top, which stops ships from crashing into the rocks.  Getting replacement bulbs is a bit of a nightmare as they are massive and won’t fit through the door – so Ray has to make them himself (his previous life as a glassblower comes in handy here.)  Ed is in charge of the lock on the downstairs door, and sleeps in front of it on his camp bed, guarding the entrance from big bulb thieves and naughty lighthouse badgers.

At 11am we will usually have a spot of breakfast, which Ed cooks on the steps.  After he has had his, he winches an egg up to Ray.  It is Edinburgh Preview season at the moment, which means that we will usually have to prepare for a preview of our brilliant show “Peacock & Gamble Emergency Broadcast.”  We have to double check that we have all our props and technical stuff, including a swish projector (Ray is in charge of this – it has got a bulb in it after all.)  At this point we have had enough for a bit and have another quick snooze.  We will usually do this next to each other (Ed = big spoon. Ray = little spoon) which we would rather not do but if that is the only way we can sleep properly I don’t see what the problem is really.

Depending on what day of the week it is, we may have to record our brilliant smash hit super mega podcast the “Peacock & Gamble Podcast” which is available to cool dudes on iTunes or Chortle (which is like a Southern pansy version of this website).  People often ask us if we prepare anything for the podcast before we record it.  The answer is yes, usually, unless a ship has crashed in the night.  In that instance we have a lot of admin to deal with.  If there have been no nautical disasters, we will prepare some topics we want to talk about and anecdotes we want to tell.  We do this by scribbling down bullet points and then chatting around those points.  We sometimes go through a period (ha) of having regular sections in the podcast, which often come (ha) to a sticky end (ha) when Ed takes them too far and Ray gets angry with Ed.  This leads to the cancelling of the section and some frosty spooning the next day.  A lot of the excellence and sheer sexiness of the product is thanks to Ray’s brilliant editing, which he will often do at the night time, the glow from his Mac providing an extra warning to ocean liners.

By this point, it is usually time to head off to our preview for Emergency Broadcast.  With the car loaded up, we roll out of the beach car park excited and fresh faced.  After ten minutes in traffic, we are angry and swearing.  Ray is the driver because there are bulbs in the headlights, but also because Ed can’t drive.  He can technically drive – he knows how to do it, but there is the small matter of needing to take a test and get a licence.  This is something that the bloody government insist upon, and that is typical of this damned coalition.  Everyone apparently has to take a “driving test”, which is clearly a way of collecting data on the masses so they can brainwash people into buying more oil or something.  It’s probably all Rupert Murdoch’s fault.  Ed tries to be a good passenger by singing very loudly and eating Wotsits and oranges.

We will try and run lines for our show on the way to the preview, but often get distracted by a sheep or chatting about what we will do when we win an Oscar.  We tend to stop off at services at least three times along the way.  Services will never stop being fun – sometimes we will stop even if we don’t need a wee or anything to eat.  Try and think of any other place in the country that has Time Crisis 2 and a massage chair in the same place.  See, you can’t.  A typical stop at the services will see us leave with beef jerky, Pepsi Max, a neck pillow and a pack of fuzzy brushes.

We will arrive at the theatre for the preview at about 5pm – tired and wan from too much snack food and pissed off from being cooped up in a car for more than half an hour.  It seems early, but our show has certain technical requirements that need to be practiced with whoever is in charge of the lights and sound.  We sweat and puff putting up our fancy screen, and spend a while desperately trying to remember how to work our projector.  One day we are going to use our projector and screen for fun and set up our own drive in cinema; Ed won’t be able to come, of course, because he can’t drive, but Ray is very good at describing what has happened in films so that is OK.  After a swift run through the show, which usually takes us up to the moment the audience come in, we towel down and quickly spoon in the dressing room.  We hit the stage to rapturous applause (our own) and proceed to treat everyone with one of the stupidest shows ever performed in Britain.  The show is designed as an insurance policy for other shows that go wrong.  We can wait in the wings of another show and if something goes wrong we can come on and fill.  We have been hired for the Edinburgh Fringe to cover all shows.  As it turns out, there is quite a lot on, so it will be quite the tiring month for us.

After we have signed all the autographs and kissed all the girls, it is back on the road again, via the same three services we visited on the way.  It is a bit of a race home, as by this point it is dark and there is nobody in charge of the lighthouse.  If we get home and there are no visible shipwrecks then we know it has been a good day.  Then, to bed for sweet dreams.

Ray Peacock and Ed Gamble will be performing Peacock and Gamble Emergency Broadcast throughout August, 10:50pm at the Pleasance Dome before taking the show on a nationwide autumn tour. See Peacock and Gamble Podcast Live at 8:20pm on 7^th, 14^th, 21^st and 28^th at the Pleasance Dome. For tickets, visit www.edinburghsbestcomedy.com. For more information and ticket details for Peacock and Gamble’s autumn tour, see www.peacockandgamble.com.