Review: Mike Wozniak: Take The Hit – The Stand, Newcastle

Question: show business. Answer?

According to Mike Wozniak, the correct response would be… Mike Wozniak. Fair enough, it’s not quite stuck just yet, but he’s working on it.

Or at least he would be, if he could get a minute to himself.

With his finely combed moustache, lounge singer tux and glittering pink curtains (not a euphemism), Wozniak is the very image of show business.

A purveyor of fine graveside monologues and a pillar of the entertainment industry, he’s got an incredible show to perform tonight. He’s just got one or two things to get off his chest first…

Chief of these niggling annoyances is the fact that his in-laws have moved in, and it looks like only the cold, bony fingers of Death himself will be able to prize them out again.

His mother-in-law is encroaching on his space, his way of life and his sanity, and Wozniak bubbles with murderous rage as he rants about her bizarre toilet habits and unending stream of tedious anecdotes.

By turns frantic and beleaguered, Wozniak deviates into often surreal observations, perpetually putting off launching his actual ‘show’.

Essentially one enormous riff on the classic mother-in-law schtick, Wozniak manages to keep his material from sagging by pinning it to a framework of procrastination.

Endlessly venting his frustration at his categorically un-showbiz existence, he inevitably concedes that there is no show; the road is the only place he gets any time to himself.

Take the Hit is a show about not having a show, but Wozniak’s exquisite physical comedy, plummy charm, and distinctly British exasperation – at everything from the redundancy of police horses, and Michael Fassbender’s ubiquitous wang, to the perils of standing against child sexualisation as the possessor of a dubious moustache – prove rib-tickling enough to hold it together.

There are no fireworks here, no big pay-offs, and stretched out to an hour the concept runs the risk of wearing thin, but there’s still heaps of daring, animated tale-telling here to enjoy.

Date of live review: Monday 24 March 2014