How I found my voice on stage

Lost Voice Guy on his BBC New Comedy Award win, and how stand-up helped him find his voice.

I haven’t always been good at expressing myself. In fact, despite what you see on stage, I still don’t think I am now.

I’ve always been really self-conscious about myself and what other people think of me because of my disability. I guess it comes with the territory. I’ve just got used to feeling paranoid and awkward, even around people that I know. I’m incredibly shy and I’m never completely relaxed because my brain won’t let me be.

With that mind-set, maybe doing stand-up comedy was a weird choice for me. Why would I want to get up on stage and let loads of stranger’s judge me even more? I’m still trying to figure that out. I’ll let you know when I have an answer.

What I do know is that doing stand-up comedy has taught me to let go of my inhibitions a bit. When I’m up on stage I feel like I’ve found the perfect way to express myself. I have always used humour to help me feel more relaxed. I’ve always enjoyed making other people laugh, it’s a great feeling.

I also think I used humour as a defence, as long as I could laugh at myself, it took some of the stigma away. Plus if I didn’t laugh, I’d most definitely cry.

When I first started doing stand-up, I obviously didn’t know what to expect or what people’s reactions would be. I’d even say that I didn’t even have a ‘voice’ before I started doing comedy.

Now it’s different. I feel a lot more confident for a start. I feel that people actually want to listen to me for a change. And I feel that people soon forget about the disability and just treat me as another comic who messes around on stage for a living. It gives me a lot of reasons to be positive for a change.

Of course, I couldn’t do it without advances in technology (well I could, but the audience would all have to learn sign language!). Funnily enough, I wasn’t always a big fan of using communication devices.

My speech therapist at school almost had to force me to use the first one that I had. I just didn’t see the point of it…and it was massive. It was only when I started to have a social life outside of school that I began to see the benefits. When you consider how much I use them now, it seems strange that I was so against using them as a child. I guess I just needed to see the bigger picture and grow up a bit.

I’m incredibly grateful for the technology that I own now (and for my twisted sense of humour). It’s allowed me to go to university and live independently, it’s allowed me to meet some amazing friends, and it’s allowed me to swear at random people on stage.

If you had told me when I started doing stand up comedy in February 2012 that I would win something like the BBC New Comedy Award three years later, I would have thought you were mental. The last two and a half years of my life have been amazing in all kinds of ways.

I’ve supported my comedy idol, Ross Noble, on his warm-up tour, I’ve taken two shows to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and I’ve ‘sang’ a duet with The Boy With Tape On His Face in front of two thousand people. Best of all, I’ve met some amazing people.

Of course, as with any roller coaster ride, it’s had some dips too. Dare I mention pneumonia. But the lovely thing is that the amazing people in my life got me through these times and I became stronger for the experience.

I’ll be honest, I never expected to win the award. When I entered the competition, I was just curious about how far I would get. I was thrilled when I won my heat, and I was over the moon when I got through my semi final. So, you can imagine what I was like when I won the whole thing!

I knew I’d be up against the best new comedians in the country in the final, so I was just happy to have made it that far. I wasn’t wrong either, all six acts in the final were good enough to pick up the award.

The fact that both the comedy industry (in the heats and semi) and then the public (in the final) thought that I was good enough to win the whole thing means an awful lot to me. You can’t get much higher praise than that.

When my friend suggested that I try to do stand-up comedy, I thought he was mental. I just didn’t see how it would work. It turns out he was right though. I just didn’t realise it until I gave it a try.

For more information on Lost Voice Guy, see his website.